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Friends
« The miracle - the making of.Rock around the lion »

Friends

05.10.14

  11:20:00 am, by   , 541 words  
Categories: Art, Collage

Friends


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bigger

After this collage and during a short insomnia, I thought about my best friend from my teenage years. He didn’t have the same background as me, he looked physically very different from me: blonde, tall and clear eyes… and he lived only in the present.

We saw each other every day, he had plenty of funny or poetic ideas, you never got bored with him - in short, I adored him. In addition, he strongly encouraged my self-taught beginnings in painting. All this to say how close we were, but we really didn’t say our thoughts on behalf of our feelings. For proof, a painful episode for me which has created a rift within me: I was in love with a girl in my neighborhood that I presented to my friend. At a party, I saw them kissing each other before me. I burst into tears and I got drunk, I was inconsolable. And he sent me this girl in order to she comfort me (a little). I felt humiliated and devalued and my relationship with this friend suffered from this in the long run. Because, and this was my thinking last night, it was he who should have it spoken out with me or comfort me. I was crying his betrayal, not the choice of this girl.

Maybe what he needed was not really me, but what I could offer him in knowledge, by introducing him in my social environment. I did not put it this way at that time, but I felt strongly that betrayal because, from my side , I would never have done this to my best friend.

 

Après avoir fait ce collage et au cours d’une courte insomnie, j’ai repensé à mon meilleur ami de mon adolescence.  Il n’était pas du même milieu que moi, il était physiquement très différent de moi : blond, grand, yeux clairs et il vivait seulement dans le présent.

On se voyait tous les jours, il avait des idées amusantes, poétiques, on ne s’ennuyait jamais avec lui -  bref, je l’adorais. En plus, il encourageait vivement mes débuts d’autodidacte en peinture.  Tout cela pour dire combien nous étions proches, mais sans vraiment nous dire nos pensées au niveau du sentiment.  J’en veux pour preuve un épisode douloureux pour moi qui a fait naître une fêlure en moi : J’étais amoureux d’une jeune fille de mon voisinage que j’ai présentée à mon ami. Lors d’une fête, j’ai vu que lui et elle s’embrassaient devant moi. J’ai fondu en larmes et j’ai pris une cuite, j’étais inconsolable. Et lui, il a envoyé vers moi  cette fille pour qu’elle me console (un peu). Je me suis senti humilié et dévalorisé et ma relation avec cet ami s’en est ressenti à la longue. Car, et cela a été ma réflexion de cette nuit, c’est lui qui aurait dû s’expliquer avec moi, voire me consoler. Ce que je pleurais, c’était sa trahison, pas le choix de cette fille.

 

Peut-être que ce qu’il recherchait ce n’était pas vraiment moi, mais ce que je pouvais lui apporter en connaissances, en l’introduisant dans mon milieu. Je ne l’ai pas formulé ainsi à cette époque, mais j’ai fortement ressenti cette trahison, car, de mon côté, je n’aurais jamais agi ainsi vers mon meilleur ami.

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Blog on art, centered on collage. It is meant as a sort of logbook of my creative work.

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