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Grooming of the artist
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Grooming of the artist

19.11.13

  11:39:00 am, by   , 643 words  
Categories: Art, Collage

Grooming of the artist


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for a bigger picture click here.

I do not know if I've about it written here, but my drawing teacher at the Ecole des Beaux- Arts in Geneva predicted me a bright future, a bit like this collage inspired by Madame Tussauds waxen artists.
Why didn’t it come true? What believed my teacher about me inducing him to make such a prophecy?
I believe that during these years I had lost my inspiration because he had not appreciated the paintings had shown him - at least I suppose - because I have never forgotten the words he uttered after casting a brief look at them : Go and draw the plaster head over there. I interpreted it as a final condemnation of the dreamed and naïve world that I painted then. And this prevented me to invent. I began to experiment with painting, pursuing my inspiration which hid constantly. And my teacher undoubtedly took these stylistic shifts for a valuable quality. But when I left school, my inspiration was longtime absent which resulted in a deep feeling of failure because my desire to make art was intact since I started self-taught at 15. And this prophecy has only strengthened this sense of failure.
The question I ask myself now is whether this prophecy would have been realized without the negative judgment on my first works. I think not. I needed to mature internally to be able to do what I do now. And even if it happens relatively late in my life, I think I now successfully transform my former wandering in real experiments and especially am able to connect myself to my innermost being . So much for the honors - I do not need any. What drives me is the fulfillment of my dream to create images that appeal to me and speak to me.
P.S. Looking at my collage, I can see myself not quite at ease with the grooming...

Je ne sais plus si je l’ai déjà écrit ici, mais mon prof. de dessin à l’Ecole des Beaux-Arts de Genève me prédisait un brillant avenir, un peu comme sur ce collage s’inspirant du cabinet de cire de Madame Tussaud.
Pourquoi cela ne s’est-il pas réalisé ? Qu’est-ce que mon prof. avait cru déceler chez moi l’induisant à faire une telle prophétie ?
Je crois que pendant ces années j’avais perdu mon inspiration car il n’avait guère apprécié les peintures que lui avais montrées – du moins je le suppose – car je n’ai jamais oublié la phrase qu’il avait prononcé après y avoir jeté un bref regard : Va donc dessiner ce plâtre. Je l’ai interprétée comme une condamnation définitive du monde rêvé et naïf que je peignais alors. Et cela m’a empêché d’inventer dorénavant. Je me suis mis à expérimenter en peinture, cherchant mon inspiration qui se dérobait sans cesse. Et mon prof. a sans doute pris ces revirements stylistiques pour une qualité précieuse. Mais à ma sortie de l’école, mon inspiration s’est dérobé longtemps ce qui a résulté en un sentiment d’abattement profond, car mon désir de faire de l’art était intact depuis mes débuts en autodidacte à 15 ans. Et cette prophétie n’a fait que renforcer ce sentiment d’échec.
La question que je me pose maintenant est si cette prophétie aurait pu se réaliser sans le jugement négatif sur mes premières œuvres. Je crois que non. J’ai eu besoin de mûrir intérieurement pour pouvoir accomplir ce que je fais maintenant. Et tant pis si c’est cela advient relativement tard dans ma vie. Je crois que j’ai réussir à transformer l’errance en vraie expérimentation et surtout à me brancher sur mon être profond. Et tant pis pour les honneurs – je n’en ai pas besoin. Ce qui m’anime, c’est l’accomplissement de mon rêve : créer des images qui me plaisent et qui me parlent.
P.S. En y regardant de plus près, le collage me montre pas très à l'aise avec toilettage...

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Blog on art, centered on collage. It is meant as a sort of logbook of my creative work.

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