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Illusions
« SufferingLove me tender »

Illusions

15.07.17

  05:44:00 am, by   , 793 words  
Categories: Art, Collage, Painting, Photography, psychology

Illusions


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L’autre jour, dans mon atelier, j’ai ressorti deux rouleaux de dessins et de peintures datant de plus de 30 ans. Je ne les avais pas déroulés depuis cette époque. Je me souviens d’avoir été fort satisfait de ces œuvres, au point de vouloir les conserver. Or quelle ne fut pas ma déception en les revoyant ! Aucune de ces grandes feuilles n’a trouvé grâce à mes yeux. « Médiocre » a été le mot qui m’est venu à l’esprit. Ni une ni deux, je les ai emportées au tonneau, une allumette et les voilà parties en flammes. Ouf !

Il me reste dorénavant la pénible tâche de continuer cette investigation. Durant cette opération, j’ai déroulé un 3e rouleau constitué de la série « Massacres » (http://archives.stephanus.com/images.php?vars=id_5_start_1_type_mini_max_2) que j’ai conservé, sans doute parce qu’il mêle peinture et collage et qu’il est beaucoup plus récent (2001).

Sans vouloir entrer ici dans une réflexion sur les vertus du collage, j’aimerais (ré)aborder le thème de l’aveuglement – le fait de s’illusionner sur la qualité de son art.  Il y a trente ans environ, j’étais persuadé d’avoir créé des œuvres de grande qualité. Le doute ne m’effleurait pas. Pourtant, avec le décalage, je vois bien tous les défauts de ce que je prenais pour des « œuvres » : manque d’inspiration, de maîtrise, de vision… J’aurais dû voir, mais je n’ai pas vu, quel aveuglement !  Evidemment, la question qui surgit est de savoir si ma situation actuelle correspond à celle d’il y a 30 ans, si je suis aujourd’hui frappé de cécité en ce qui me concerne. La réponse qui surgit est que non, bien sûr : j’ai évolué, j’ai davantage de maîtrise, on me complimente (parfois), je vois mieux ce qui cloche, car je suis plus conscient, etc. Mais comment savoir ? Sans doute que l’écriture m’a apporté des éclaircissements que mes yeux ne pouvaient pas me fournir. Les mots m’ont permis de mieux comprendre ce qui est à l’œuvre dans ce que je fais, de me distancier davantage de ma création. Et l’abandon du dessin et de la peinture au profit du seul collage m’a permis de créer des images d’une plus grande cohérence et qui sont davantage en accord avec ce que je ressens. Donc tout cela me satisfait et tant pis si ces collages ne sont pas au format de mes œuvres d’antan. Un intérieur d’église de Van Eyck est-il inférieur en qualité à un Rubens gigantesque ? Mais voilà que je me raconte peut-être encore une nouvelle histoire…

illusions

The other day, in my studio, I came out with two rolls of drawings and paintings dating back over 30 years. I had not unrolled them since that time. I remember being very satisfied with these works, to the point of wanting to preserve them. But what was my disappointment when I saw them again! None of these large works have found grace in my eyes. "Mediocre" was the word that came to my mind. Neither one nor two, I carried them to the barrel, a match and they went out in flames. Phew!

From now on, I have the painful task of continuing this investigation. During this operation, I unrolled a third roll made up of the series "Massacres" (http://archives.stephanus.com/images.php?vars=id_5_start_1_type_mini_max_2) that I preserved, probably because it mixes painting and collage and that it is much more recent (2001).

Without wishing to enter here into a reflection on the virtues of collage, I would like to (re) approach the theme of blindness - the delusion about the quality of one’s art. About thirty years ago, I was convinced that I had created high quality works. The doubt did not touch me. However, with the gap, I see all the defects of what I took for "works": lack of inspiration, mastery, vision ... I should have seen, but I did not see, what blindness ! Obviously, the question that arises is whether my current situation corresponds to that of 30 years ago, if I am now blinded as far as I am concerned. The answer that arises is that no, of course: I have evolved, I have more mastery, I am complimented (sometimes), I see better what is wrong, because I am more conscious, etc. But how to know? Undoubtedly, writing provided me with clarification that my eyes could not provide. Words have allowed me to better understand what is at work in what I do, to distance myself more from my creation. And the abandonment of drawing and painting to the benefit of collage only allowed me to create images of greater coherence and that are more in agreement with what I feel. So all this satisfies me and too bad if these collages are not in the format of my works of yesteryear. Is a Van Eyck church interior inferior in quality to a gigantic Rubens? But here I am perhaps telling myself another story ...

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